MarySues An Evil in Themselves
by free2thamax
Summary: Basically a good MarySue bashing fic. Everyone loves 'em. Aliana Ravenne Emily Cara Lilian Delilah Smith falls into the world of PotC and meets gasp! Captain Jack Sparrow!
1. Chapter 1

Aliana Ravenne Emily Cara Lilian Delilah Smith was a Mary-Sue. She was beautiful, smart, outgoing, and graceful. She had long, glossy, silky, shiny, satiny hair that was chocolate-chestnutty dark brown, tumbling down to the lowest part of her back. She had flawless, smooth, pale, enviable skin that looked as though it had been carved out of the most precious ivory. She had a perfect little button nose, and full, gorgeous, rosy lips. Her figure was a perfect hourglass, slim and toned with curves in all the right places. But the most striking feature of her was her eyes. They were blue pools so deep anyone could get lost in them, and they had gold flecks, gold rivalling the most valuable treasure (odd, I know). They changed color, too. Some people thought it was because of her mood, but it actually directly related to the number of giraffes in a certain plain in Africa. There always seemed to be more giraffes when she was angry, causing her eyes to glow red. When she was sad, there were less than usual, causing all the gold flecks to leave, and the lively sparkle. Those were some odd giraffes.

Anyway, back to Aliana Ravenne Emily...let's call her Allie. She was a stylish girl, always dressing in clothes that flatter her, although if she had worn plaid Bermuda shorts with an orange-and-purple polka-dotted baggy shirt, it still would have looked stunning. She lived in 2006, in a huge mansion with an exquisitely decorated room. Everybody at school was mean to her though.

"Ha ha, you're sooooooo ugly/stupid/clumsy/everything you aren't!" they would tease, causing her to run home, athletic legs powering her on. One such day, it was really bad as the lesser students had thrown ketchup packets at her. "Ha ha, you're a stupid ketchup lady! Got ketchup?" they taunted her, bringing tears to her stunning blue eyes. She was running up her driveway when her 32 siblings ran out to go see their favorite movie, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. They trampled her, making her cry even more. She walked gracefully up to the door, gracefully opened it, and gracefully tripped over the threshold. Everything Aliana Ravenne Emily Cara Lilian Delilah Smith did was graceful. Her father wasn't home, as usual, and he mother had died when she was 7. She walked up the stairs to her room.

Her room was plastered with posters of Jack Sparrow, her obsession. Every day after school, she would come home, flop gracefully down on her soft, king-size bed, pop her DVD of Pirates of the Caribbean up into her big-screen TV, and daydream about the Captain. She fell into one of her favorite daydreams, where she and Jack fought off ghost pirates right after he proposed to her. Slowly her eyelids began to grow heavy, and she fell asleep.

Three hours later, Allie's eyes fluttered gracefully open. She found herself looking up at a clear blue Caribbean sky. Sitting bolt upright, she looked around at her surroundings. She was on a ship! She stared up at the ragged, black sails. Could it be? She stood up and ran over to the side of the ship, where the name was. It was! Aliana Ravenne Emily Cara Lilian Delilah Smith was on the Black Pearl! She remained bent over the side, a look of shock playing across her beautiful features. She suddenly felt a firm hand grasp her shoulder, and she heard a voice.

"Gettin' sick, luv?" it asked her. Allie's rosebud mouth opened further. She stood up and wheeled around, only to see herself facing everyone's favorite pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow.

Allie tucked a strand of dark hair behind her left ear. "Actually, I was just looking at the name of your ship. The Black Pearl. Nice name. Nice ship. I'm Aliana Ravenne Emily Cara Lilian Delilah Smith, but you can call me Allie," she said, her melodious voice confident and clear.

"My name's Jack, but you can call me Captain Sparrow," he said. Allie nodded. "What are you doing here?" he asked. Allie considered her options. She could tell the truth, or lie. She silently decided.

"I snuck onto your ship in Tortuga. Sorry 'bout that. My crew mutinied me onto the other side of the island. I walked through jungle, mountain, and forest to get to Tortuga, and yours was just the first ship I saw."

Jack lowered his eyebrows confusedly. "So why are you wearing that, luv?" he asked, gesturing to Allie's jeans and top. "Oh, um, ugh. You caught me. I'm actually from the future. I fell asleep one day after they called me ketchup head..." She trailed off. Jack raised an eyebrow. "Come into my cabin. This should be interesting."

Allie was settled onto a small bed, Jack sitting opposite her holding out a mug of hot tea. "Alright, Allie," he said, "have some tea and tell me about it. We might be able to figure out how you got here, savvy?"

Allie took a sip. "Well, my mom died when I was seven..."

-20 minutes later-

Allie was pouring tears from her beautiful eyes, gracefully. She was beautiful even when she was crying. The giraffes were at an all-time low. "And today, at school," she sobbed, "they called me fat, ugly, and stupid, and clumsy, and they threw ketchup packets at me. KETCHUP PACKETS!" she wailed. Jack walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. She flung her arms around him and buried her head in his neck. He awkwardly put his arm around her shoulder, and patted her lightly. "It's...alright, Allie! Everything's gonna be fine, luv!" Jack said, clearly new to this "crying-girl-in-cabin" thing. He was suddenly stricken by an idea. "Aliana, do you have anything in your pockets?"

Allie looked up, the tears stopping. "I might, actually," she said, reaching into her back pocket. "Oh, it's just a $5, never mind," she said. Jack nodded.

"That doesn't really tell us much, now does it luv?" Jack said. "Well, if we can't find out anything, you could always stay here, and work on the ship," he suggested. "Okay, that sounds great!" Allie said, the sparkle returning to her stunning eyes. A couple of giraffes had retuned to the plains in Africa. Allie threw her arms around Jack just as the door opened.

"Captain! We need some assistance- Oh, didn't mean to be interruptin' anything," said a skinny, dark-skinned girl who was closing the door. Allie quickly let go of Jack and dusted herself off. "Nothing interrupted, Allie said, bestowing the skinny girl with a smile that lit up her gorgeous features.

"I'm Aliana Ravenne Emily Cara Lilian Delilah Smith, but most people call me Allie," Allie said. "I'm Anamaria," said the skinny girl. "Nice to meet you, Anamaria," Allie said, being polite. Anamaria nodded. "Likewise."

"Captain, the men were needin' some assistance up on deck, there was an odd pink machine that they found, I guess," Anamaria said. Allie gasped. "My iPod!" she said loudly.

She dashed gracefully from the cabin, letting the mug that she was holding her tea in crack on the ground. She ran up a short flight of stairs, and she was back on deck. She saw the group of smelly pirates, with her iPod. "Stop! Put it down!" she screamed.

The pirates looked up at the strange new girl, puzzled looks on their faces.

Review if you want more! And I don't own anything but Aliana. I came up with her at midnight.


	2. Of iPods and Dancing

Okay! Thanks to my six reviewers, I'm writing more! It''s only been up for a day, so thankies to all who reviewed, or read for that matter. FYI, all the OOC-ness is intentional, as are the grammar mistakes. Enjoy!

Aliana Ravenne Emily Cara Lilian Delilah Smith walked over to the stunned pirates. They were not only stunned because (gasp) there was a girl on the ship besides Anamaria, but because of her beauty. Allie said, with her melodious voice, "Can I have my iPod back, please?"

The pirates were forced to become quite un-piratelike at this, as the one who was holding the iPod stepped forward and said, "Here you are, milady. I am truly sorry that we took your posessions without asking first."

Allie took the iPod, a strange look on her face. She had watched Pirates of the Caribbean enough times to know that these guys were behaving strangely. "Thanks, I guess" she said to them. "Anytime, miss."

Allie walked back into the cabin. It was the nicest cabin on the ship, with an actual bed instead of a hammock. Because Mary-Sues always get the nice cabin. She put her earbuds in, and listened to one of her favorite songs, "My Immortal" by Evanescence. Because even Mary-Sues can be depressed sometimes. The words rang through her ears, beautiful and haunting. After that song was over, the iPod shuffled it to "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. Allie loved this song, so she got up and started dancing around. She was an excellent dancer, swinging her arms up in the air and shuffling her feet to the beat. Suddenly, Anamaria walked in.

"Hey Ana! Can I call you Ana?" Allie asked, pulling the earbuds out of her ears. "Sure, Ana's fine," said Anamaria. "I just wanted to ask...what does that, that iPod do?" she asked, picking up the pink music player. "Oh, it plays music," Allie explained. "You put these in your ears and hit this button, then a song will come on!" she said, demonstrating. Anamaria put the earbuds in her ear, and hit the button Allie had shown her. "Unwritten" began to play, and Anamaria pulled the earbuds out.

"That was...unexpected," she said, in response to the modern music. "Come on, Ana! It's a good song! I think it describes you pretty well, actually," Allie said, putting the earbuds into Anamaria's ears again. This time, Anamaria listened, and when the song was done, she said "Yeah, that does sound like me! Thanks for explaining it," before she left.

"No problem!" Allie said. She sat down on the bed and put the iPod up. She laid down on the bed and thought about everything that had happened to her. Her 32 siblings wouldn't miss her, there were so many of them. To be honest, Allie wasn't in a huge hurry to leave. Suddenly the door opened, and Jack walked in. "Hey Allie," he said, sitting in the chair across from the bed.

"Hey, Jack," she said, sitting up gracefully, dark hair falling behind her. "What's up?" "Well, we've just pulled into Port Royal. Just thought I'd tell you," he said, looking into her beautiful blue eyes. "Wow," Allie thought, "his eyes are even more gorgeous in person!" She had nearly forgotten about her obsession, just from the fact that all this was happening to her.

Jack stood up and began to walk to the door. Allie stopped him there, and kissed him on the cheek. "What on earth was that for?" Jack asked, taken aback. "Oh, nothing, I've just wanted to do that for a really long time is all," she replied, smirking. He smiled, a roguish grin. "We'll make a pirate out of you yet," he said.

Allie followed him up onto the docks. The rest of the crew stayed behind, strangely enough. The harbormaster stopped the odd-looking duo, the gorgeous, graceful, beautiful girl and the pirate with bad teeth.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing! You can't come on this dock without permission!" Jack gave him an odd look. "I'll pay you...five shillings if we can forget the name," he said, holding out his coin bag. "Welcome to Port Royal, Mr. Smith. But what of the girl?"

Allie stuttered. "Um...er...we're married."

Ooh! First hints of romance! (cough)Mary-Sue(cough) I don't own anything but Allie, again. Review if you want more! Sorry if it wasn't as funny, next time, though, she meets Liz and Will! Funny stuff ahead!


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